Viral marketing targets SciencePunk, get into a pickle

July 3rd, 2008

I’d like to share with you all the joy of a recent email exchange between myself and someone at Draftfcb, a trendy marketing outfit.  It all started when the following email dropped into my inbox:

SUBJECT: FUNNY VIDEO

Hi Frank
I have been reading your blog and I noticed that you like science and humor mixed together. We wanted to share with you this video we created. We thought it’s something you and your readers of SciencePunk might find interesting and entertaining. This was an actual pickle test conducted in the (removed) Pickle labs and we thought it was so interesting, we added our own commentary. Take a look and enjoy. We’d love it if you shared it with your readers too.
(link removed)
Sincerely,
Courtney Crowder

So, hey, free material, and I’m not impartial to a little viral, if it’s funny and informative.  So I watch the video, and sure enough there’s a man conducting an acoustic pickle test.  Who would have thought there was an actual machine to measure how loud the snap of a pickle was?  Awesome, right?  Well, Draftfcb clearly didn’t think so.  They added a voiceover and text at the beginning of the video insisting that it was “REALLY, REALLY BORING”, so much so that they paid a couple of comedians to add their own commentary.  Well, Draftfcb call them comedians.  I call them ‘douchebags’.  I replied:

Hi Courtney
I had no idea there was an actual pickle acoustic test! Neat. Shame about the over-dub though, it’s really un-funny. Any chance of the original video, sans the Beavis and Butthead commentary? If so I’d definitely link it.
Frank

I assume the staff at Draftfcb were too busy getting Geek Pie haircuts and frotting themselves silly over how wonderfully subversive they were, because I didn’t get a reply.  However, I did get emailed again, three weeks later:

SUBJECT: food science?
Hey-
I have been a reader of Science Punk for a long time and I really appreciate your take on all forms of science. I cant find anything on your site about food science though and I am really interested in that form of science. I found this video of a REAL guy who is testing the ‘snap’ quality of pickles and I want to know more about it. The people talking over it are funny too. Can you post this and tell me a little bit about either how they really can tell which pickle is snappier or more about the equipment that tests the pickles.
Heres the video…
(same link removed)
Thanks!
Courtney Crowder

I think, mostly because Courtney is now pretending not to be a viral marketer, this constitutes an ‘epic fail’.  Especially as I’ve written about food science quite a number of times.  How can I reply to such a laughable attempt at subterfuge?  Like this:

Hi Courtney
Thanks for getting in touch.  I’m glad to hear you’re a long-time reader of my site.
Thanks for the link, sadly I don’t think it’s suitable for sciencepunk.
Best
Frank

PS – it might help in future to dispense with the made-up stories and admit you’re working for the company featured.
PPS – especially as you emailed me this same link three weeks ago saying as much.
PPPS – and even more so as I replied to the first email with my feedback on why I wasn’t going to feature it.

And if that wasn’t funny enough, check out Draftfcb’s ridiculous email footer:

This message is the property of Draftfcb and contains information which may
be privileged or confidential. It is meant only for the intended recipients
and/or their authorized agents. If you believe you have received this
message in error, please notify us immediately by return e-mail and destroy
any printed or electronic copies of the message. Any unauthorized use,
dissemination, disclosure, or copying of this message or the information
contained in it, is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful.
Thank you for your cooperation.
(A)

Your property??  Who are you kidding?  It’s resting on my disc space by way of an email service that I pay for, and so long as I’m sent unsolicited invitations to do your job for you, I’ll do whatever I please with the email.

So there you have it.  A crash course (and I emphasise the crash) on modern day marketing: take an interesting video, ruin it, ask other people to distribute it, ignore their feedback, then insult their intelligence.  Crash and burn, Draftfcb.

Entry Filed under: General

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