Albert Abrams

October 5th, 2006

Dr Albert Abrams (b. 1883) was the founder of the “science” of radionics and inventor of a number of devices that would have revolutionised the field of medicine, had they actually worked. Most notable of these was the Osccilloclast, a device that could analyse a drop of blood on a piece of blotting paper, detect the unique vibration pattern of a disease (any disease, including the made-up “Bovine Syphilis”), and suggest treatment. The blood didn’t need to be fresh - samples could be sent in the mail. This was particularly handy as it freed a lot of Oscilliclast practicioners from the burden of seeing patients, allowing them to concentrate on more important things like laughing all the way to the bank. Abrams offered training in the use of these magic boxes, charging a cool $200 for a course, after which students were loaned the devices (under strict instructions to never open them) and entered a franchise scheme, regularly sending a percentage of their profits back to Abram. By the early 1920s there was said to be more than 3,500 ERA practicioners, and Abram’s savvy business model allowed him to amass a fortune of over $2 million. Spurned by the death of a man whose stomach tumour was declared cured by an Oscilloclast practicioner, the American Medical Association had a sample of blood examined by an Oscilloclast practicioner. The machine detected diabetes, malaria, cancer and syphilis. The sample had been supplied by a rooster. Upon opening, Abrams Oscilloclast was found to contain various radio parts meaninglessly wired together. Dr Abrams died in 1924, before he could appear as a witness in the fraud trial of an Osccilloclast practitioner. Today, thousands of centres offer radionic treatment, neatly illustrating how a completely discredited practice can still find a home with “alternative therapists”.

Entry Filed under: Bad Scientists

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