Archive for December, 2007
Some years ago, I attended the Glastonbury Festival. Although mainly known as a music festival, there are many other events, both planned and improvised, to keep you entertained. Being chased by a bright pink robotic wheelie bin was one delight. Another was a small stall demanding an end to MASONIC GOVERNMENT CHILD ABUSE. This one particularly lodges in my memory because of the wonderful charts and graphs its owner had drawn to explain his theories. For example:
Notice how the diagram forms the shape of the ALL SEEING EYE OF THE MASONIC PAEDOPHILE EMPIRE. I’m not sure exactly how stall owner George Farquhar came to exactly 6660 paedophiles - perhaps he got to 6658 and thought, “Sod it, I’ll just round up”. I’m not sure what exactly the geometry of this is supposed to represent (other than the ALL SEEING EYE, of course). But my favourite illustration of the nefarious Masonic network is below:
If you look carefully, you’ll see that the upper part of the CORE OF RAPE is made up by the Hierarchy. Which means, of course, that the lower portion is made up of the Lowerarchy.
If you think you can take the full force of George Farquhar’s theories, follow this link. If you’re like me, you’ll sit back and chuckle gently while feeling guilty for finding said pleasure in the consequences of Maggie Thatcher’s care in the community policy.
December 9th, 2007
Ananova is reporting a case of a Chinese man with green sweat. No word on its validity yet.
Doctors in China admit they are baffled after a man began to perspire green sweat. Cheng Shunguo, 52, of Wuhan city, says his sweat turned green in the middle of November. “I noticed that my underwear and bed sheets were all green, and even the water in the shower,” he told the Chutian Metropolis News. Cheng says he feels no discomfort, but went to hospital because he was worried about his condition. Doctors thoroughly cleaned his armpits but it took only 10 minutes for his sweat to turn a piece of white gauze green again. They have carried out blood tests on Cheng, but found everything to be normal. “We can’t find the cause,” admitted a spokesman for the hospital which reported the case to the media in the hope of finding a solution.
See also on SciencePunk - “The Many Colours of Blood”
via Metafilter
December 5th, 2007
Robert W. Brussard was assistant director at the Atomic Energy Commission in the 70s. He had an interesting idea for alternative to fossil fuels - “inertial electrostatic confinement”. Essentially, electrons are shot into a magnetic prison until fusion occurs:
I’ve no idea if it’s feasible, but it seems pretty neat.
December 5th, 2007
Not content with bringing you a slew of slow motion videos and visual delights, here’s something that combines both. Witness the joy of x-ray bullet-time photography* - a wondrous mashup of high-tech science and lethal weaponry. I’ve no way of verifying whether the picture below is real, but the rest look pretty kosher.
If the description is to be believed, that really is a just-fired bullet at the tip of the barrel. Superman must see this kind of stuff all the time. (link)
December 5th, 2007
As part of the ongoing drama surrounding UK children’s plummet down world rankings for education, it’s clear that Something Must Be Done. It was Tony Blair’s idea to allow privately run schools (or rather, their funders), to set their own curriculum, and all I can think that the examples below are what primary school materials will eventually look like under this scheme.
First up is “The Lucky Puppy” by the North Carolina Association for BioMedical Research. As we all know, the animals in research labs were sick before they went in there.
While the BCAMR were guilty of glossing over a few minor details in their seminal work on animal testing, the Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership have considerable chutzpa in calling these lectures on the evils of gun control “lessons”. Still, gotta love Brasco, the gun-toting bear!
December 4th, 2007
Some of you may know that just like every other “young” person, I have a morbid fear of ageing. More accurately, I have a morbid fear of reaching certain milestone ages (such as 25) and realising that instead of the career job, country house, wife, dog and Volvo that I thought I’d have at this age, I find myself employed as a by-the-hour data monkey, sharing a small flat with no lady, labrodor or locomotion in sight. Thanks heavens then, for the following site: “Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age“. All I have to do is set it one year ahead of me, and relax in the knowledge that:
Albert Einstein published five major research papers in a German physics jornal, fundamentally changing man’s view of the universe and leading to such inventions as television and the atomic bomb.
Then I think to myself, “You see, Einstein hadn’t amounted to much at this age. I still have time.”
Yes, I still have time…
December 4th, 2007
As I know that many of you out there are loyal subscribers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster doctrine, you will know that one of the central tenets of this faith is the belief that a decline in worldwide pirate numbers has been a causative agent of climate change. Rejoice, for I have found further evidence that this is indeed the case.
Via
December 3rd, 2007
On Friday, just about every outlet reported that UK children had plummeted from ranking 4th in the world on science to 14th. Much of the blame for this was laid at the door of “dumbed down” exams, though if anything I’d say they were fiendishly difficult. However, a small article in today’s Guardian reported:
Exam boards are to review the way school textbooks are endorsed after leading authors complained that they are being leant on to write more simplistic texts to win the multi-million pound contracts.
Now, that comes as no surprise - dumb exams need dumb textbooks. But a far more worrying rumour appeared further down the page:
One author of a science textbook, who asked not to be named, was told to write a factually incorrect answer because the mistake had been made in the curriculum and the book had to match.
If this is true, I’m really hoping it was a temporary leave of sanity by some junior clerk. This is only one step away from trying to redefine Pi to square it with an existing publication.
December 2nd, 2007
The #1 birth control choice of Christians everywhere.
December 2nd, 2007
Today is World AIDS Day, and the Society of Homeopaths have decided to mark the occasion by holding a seminar talking about how best their mystical magical sugar pills can treat HIV and AIDS patients. To remind everyone that such a monumental event of importance was happening, they issued a press release yesterday. It’s very long-winded, so I’m going to concentrate on the last bit:
The Society is committed to a strategic goal of the establishment of an independent single register and regulatory body for homeopaths. This would offer the public just one register of homeopaths in the UK alongside the reassurance that they meet the required standards.
Jayne Thomas
Symposium Chair
Vice Chair, Board of Directors
National AIDS Trust: www.nat.org.uk
Now, there are two problems here. One is the claim that a single register under the SoH would enable the public that the homeopaths contained on it meet the required standards. As we’ve seen time and time again, the SoH are incapable of regulating their own homeopaths (specifically, the ban on making claims to treat named diseases, which neatly brings us back to this press release…)
Secondly, anyone skim reading the document, as I did, would think that Jayne Thomas is Vice Chair of the National AIDS Trust board of directors. That little link has just been tagged onto the end. Wouldn’t it make more sense to have the Society of Homeopaths referenced at the end? It’s almost as if Jayne Thomas wants us to think she works for the National AIDS Trust.
When the real National AIDS Trust found out about this sleight of hand, they were not amused. One phonecall later, and the reference no longer appears on the press release.
So there you have it. The Society of Homeopaths: your one-stop quack shop for bogus medicine, ineffective management, and dubious deceit.
December 1st, 2007
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