“Quantumceuticals” - a new class of pseudoscience
December 24th, 2007
For some time now we here at the bad science frontline have been seeing adverts for “cosmeceuticals” - a portmanteau that promises all the effectiveness of clinically-trialled medicine, in your make-up. Of course, medical products are strictly controlled and licensed, so cosmetic companies tread a thin line - if their anti-wrinkle creams are too effective, they’ll be classed as medicines and sales restricted. “Cosmeceuticals” sits on that line nicely - more than make-up but less than medicine.
Clearly this was too strict a definition for NaturScience, who’ve branched out into their own trademarked realm of pseudoscience - “quantumceuticals”. These are, according to the press bumf, “the next revolution in health and wellness”. NaturScience’s products seem to focus on being some kinf of buffer solutions:
Alkalark helps reduce acidosis by balancing the body’s ph[sic]. Acidosis may contribute to disease and preventing acidosis by balancing the body’s ph can help you maintain good health.
Err… personally, I think the human body has a well-developed and finely-tuned system for regulating its acidity, and the various different pHs that have to exist in different parts of the body. I wonder, what pH does NaturScience think is optimum for human beings?
That’s nothing compared to what their other products can do, though…
The Weight Loss patch utilized a breakthrough technology that emits nanowave frequencies to support the proper function of the body’s metabolic system.
Say what?! If we were playing pseudoscience-word-bingo here, we’d be beyond full house now. There’s far too much on the NaturSciene site for me to debunk it all, I hope some of you will report back and tell me what you find there.
Entry Filed under: The Inventions
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2 Comments Add your own
1. gimpy | December 24th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Whoa scary, nanowave frequencies are around those of X-rays. I’m not too keen on the idea of a patch emitting X-rays into my tissues, thank you very much.
2. Danny Chrastina | December 24th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
“Science tells us that all matter is energy in motion.”
No it doesn’t. That has to be one of the most useless summaries of the De Broglie hypothesis. Anyway, matter waves aren’t the same as electromagnetic waves (i.e. photons). As anyone who has done a quantum mechanics usually learns on the first day, macroscopic objects have tiny De Broglie wavelengths when moving at any visible speed just because they have so much mass compared to individual subatomic particles.
“Computers can capture the “frequency signal” of matter…”
What frequency signal? The vibrations of bonds in the infra-red, the rotations of small molecules in the microwave? The electronic transitions in the visible and ultraviolet? The alignment of electronic spins in the magnetic field of the nucleus, or the precession of the nuclear spins themselves at radio frequencies? And how can computers do this without having some sort of measuring equipment attached?
“These signals are known as “nano-waves”.”
Only to you cretins.
“This is similar to an EKG machine measuring the electrical output of the heart.”
No it isn’t, etc…
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