Andy Lewis at the Quackometer clearly seems to be skilled at infuriating dodgy ‘doctors’. His ISP, Netcetera, has caved in to ridiculous threats to sue to the tune of $1 million dollars a day(!) from one Mr Joseph Chikelue Obi, a fraudulent, disgraced ex-doctor. In the spirit of freedom of speech on the internet, you can read the offending articles in full below the fold!
Right Royal College of Pompous Quackery - Dublin
Thursday, September 28, 2006
I had to share this with you. Following on from my recent Quack Word ‘Doctor’ blog, I came across the Royal College of Alternative Medicine (RCAM) , a Dublin based - well, I’m not sure quite what it is…
What caught my eye was just the shameless aggrandisement of the site. It is quite hilarious, if not a little repetitive at times. Calling yourself ‘Doctor’ is somewhat pompous when all you have done is paid for some international postage. However, the man behind RCAM has absolutely no shame and titles himself as the:
Distinguished Provost of RCAM (Royal College of Alternative Medicine) Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) FRIPH(UK) FACAM(USA) MICR(UK)
Wow! Probably, just Joe to his mates. Naturally, when you Google the qualification FRCAM(Dublin), there is only person who appears to revel in this achievement. I’ll leave the rest as an excercise for the reader.
The distinguished provost looks like he is just another pseudoscientific nutritionist, his spin being “Nutritional Immunomodulation”. This is obviously a lot more clever than Patrick Holfords mere ‘Optimum Nutrition’, but having only one ‘omnipill’ is probably a poorer commercial decision that Patrick’s vast range of supplements.
Obviously, Professor Obi has had a few problems with what probably amount to bewildering comments about his site as the legal threats and press releases concerning his ‘ethical’ responses to criticisms cover more space than anything else. ‘Ethical’ is a favourite word on the site.
The most recent press release states,
7th September 2006 : The Distinguished RCAM Provost, Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi FRCAM(Dublin) FRIPH(UK) FACAM(USA) MICR(UK) has formally accepted appointment as Chief Professorial Examiner for the Doctor of Science (DSc) programme in Evidence Based, Alternative Medicine (EBAM) of a highly respected International University in one of the British Commonwealth Protectorates.
This new qualification is primarily aimed at Medical Graduates, Physicians, Surgeons, Pharmacists, Dentists, Osteopaths, Chiropractors, Opticians, Wellness Consultants, Herbalists, Acupuncturists, Naturopaths , Healers, Podiatrists , Chiropodists , Scientists , Healers ,Therapists, Homeopaths, Chinese Medicine Practitioners and Nurses wishing to ethically upgrade their current Qualifications in Alternative Medicine over an exceedingly intensive 12 - 36 month period of study.
British Commonwealth Protectorates? Could that be Dublin?
I really have no idea what this organisation is all about. But it looks like it could be getting quite big soon…
RCAM currently has International Vacancies for One Million (1,000,000) ‘Foundation Fellows’ (’Movers and Shakers’) ; who will independently play a highly pivotal role in diligently mentoring (and regulating) it’s future Global Membership.
So if you really think that you seriously have what it takes to become a ‘Leader’ in Alternative Medicine , then (perhaps) RCAM may definitely be exactly what the Doctor ordered for you.
One million. That’s a lot of quacks! And they are just to mentor (and regulate) the wider quack membership! This man has ambition.
The Big J really hates real doctors. This is his most recent press release…
RCAM would like to warmly commend the various Chieftans of the National Health Service of the United Kingdom for ethically and appropriately ignoring utterly misguided calls (from a rather amusing Group of thirteen Clinical Yestermen) to compel Hard-Working (and Tax-Paying) British Citizens to additionally pay for Life Enhancing Alternative Medicine Interventions out of their very own pockets - rather than get such treatments free via the NHS. RCAM would like to also categorically state that such exceedingly flawed ‘G-13′ demands that the National Health Service of the United Kingdom expediently abandon Alternative Medicine altogether (in total favour of Conventional Medicine) be diplomatically treated with the very utmost contempt which such unguarded verbal flippance duly deserves ; as none of these 13 ‘Eminent UK Scientists’ behind such calls has professionally attained Globally Acceptable Fellowship Qualifications in Alternative Medicine and as such cannot be deemed competent enough to make such sweeping ‘Shilly-Shally’ statements about the noble independent specialty of Alternative Medicine.
RCAM therefore publicly advises the General Public to lawfully go about their normal Wellness-Seeking Behaviour as usual - without any unwarranted prejudice or fear resulting from such highly self-serving, morally unethical , abjectly crude , totally unprofessional, utterly unstatesmanly, morbidly barbaric, wantonly uncivilized, profanely undemocratic and unspeakably sacrilegious perpetual affronts on the therapeutically formidable institution of Alternative Medicine.
Now, I do not have ‘Globally Acceptable Fellowship Qualifications’ in Santa Clause Studies to know he does not exist. But hey. I must be a morbidly barbaric and profanely undemocratic, unethical duck.
So, struggling around the acres of pomposity I find one place where Prof Joe might be making some money. You can call him to seek his wisdom, after pre-booking an hour’s slot (and handing over your credit card) for a mere 300 Euros. Alternatively, you can pay by the minute on the contact line for a trifling $10 per minute.
Its going to cost you $20 just for Joe to say Hello and to read out his numerous titles, qualifications and names. Not bad ‘ethical’ work.
Ethical Quackery, the Monarchy and Kate Moss
Thursday, October 12, 2006
No, this is not about our Defender of Quackery, our Quack-in-Chief His Royal Quackiness, Prince Charles, but about the Distinguished Provost of the Royal College of Alternative Medicine, Professor Joseph Chikelue Obi. And yes, it is just a rather lame story written solely to get a picture of Kate on my blog.
I’ve written a rather lazy blog on the distinguished professor before that was just a bit of a gawp at his quacktastic website and what looks like a health phone-line scam.
Well, I’ve done a little more digging with Google and it has revealed a few quack gems. It has been pretty hard work, since Google returns some 6,000 pages, the vast majority just appears to be Prof Obi’s self-promotion. However, if you persist in digging a few interesting facts turn up.
So, what has the little black duck found out about the “most Controversial Retired Physician and ‘A-List’ Medical Celebrity, Dr Joseph Chikelue Obi”?
Here we go…
1. The Irish Independent reports that his college does not exist at the Dublin address given on the web site. There’s a surprise! It’s just a front.
2. The Independent goes on. “In January 2003, he was suspended by for serious professional misconduct at South Tyneside District Hospital. Among the allegations made were that he failed to attend to patients, wrote strange notes about colleagues and at one point gave a dating agency phone number to a psychiatric patient.”
3. He was being investigated by the police for taking thousands of pounds of a 58 year old woman to in order to cure a long standing illness.
4. The GMC strike Dr Obi off their register for “serious professional misconduct”. So much for him being retired.
5. On another tack, Dr Obi has been involved in a little cyber-squatting. This looks as if it took place while he was a doctor - always after a few quid!
6. Since then, now self-titled Prof Obi, a few new avenues have been opened, including trying to entice Kate Moss away to one of his ’safe-houses’ in Ireland. Hat’s off!
He is quoted as saying:
“Under the European Convention on Human Rights, Miss Moss still has fundamental rights, just like anyone else out there, and as far as I am concerned, she is not guilty of anything until an Ethical Jury says so.”
(I mentioned before that ‘ethical’ was one of his favourite words.)
7. Prof Obi has been developing a Penis Enlarger (watch out Kate) that his own Royal College has now endorsed.
8. At least one person (out of the targeted million) has paid Prof Obi the fees for his college to accredit them. Dr Michael Keet (8 Canards) of the Central London College of Reflexology handed over ‘hundreds’. Do we feel sorry for out-quacked quacks? I guess we ought to.
9. For those of you wanting to see behind the grand titles and see the real human being, Joseph lists his interests as Comedy in London, Whole Food Nutrition and Christian Music. On this ‘Meetup’ site, he describes himself as “Just a very ordinary guy . . .”. That’s nice.
10. His name appears very often on the blog Abolish The General Medical Council (GMC), often reporting something he has got up to. The blog describes itself as:
An ethical blog for those who publicly feel that the General Medical Council (GMC) should be Statutorily Abolished in favour of a Medical Licensing Commission (MLC) to solely register and revalidate Doctors who practise Conventional Medicine in the UK. The Blog also recommends that the GMC/MLC hands all disciplinary functions over to an Independent Clinical Tribunal (ICT) in keeping with the EU Convention on Human Rights ; to avoid (both) Institutional Bias and Multiple Jeopardy.
Oooh. There is that word ‘ethical’ again. And ‘European Human Rights’. No name is given for the blog author but the avatar is a portrait of the queen. Another apparent obsession of Prof Obi - royalty. Could the author be none other than the Professor himself, a little agrieved for his ticking off? I hope you all click through to the blog. Maybe we will show up in his stats and whoever the writer is can get in contact and confirm one way or another.
I rather hope it is, as the final thing I turned up would just be fantastic…
11. Is the Distinguished Provost of the Royal College of Alternative Medicine, Professor Obi now selling ethical ring-tones? I do hope so.
Watch out Crazy Frog! Here comes the Crazy Provost…
January 24th, 2008
Last night I attended the Dana Centre to hear a collection of scientists discuss the blurring boundaries between technology and your body. Contributors from the Bristol Robotics Laboratory, the Future of Humanity Institute at Oxford University, the Institute of Biomedical Engineering at Imperial College London and University of Reading’s Cybernetics group presented the latest research from their respective departments.
Of the four groups, I was most interested in EcoBot, a project to create an autonomous machine that would take energy from its environment. Unlike solar- and wind-powered devices, which are dependent upon the right environmental conditions, EcoBot would hunt down its own food, advancing robots on from imitating plants to imitating animals. EcoBot-I was designed to hunt slugs, because, in Prof Alan Winfield’s words “Firstly, nobody likes them, and secondly, they’re very slow”. The finished was almost primordial in design, with a long thin neck, large jaws, and a stout body (video). This allowed it to hunt the ground for slug without having to move very often, saving energy. Contained within the tri-jaw was a camera and a red light that would illuminate the slugs (which do not show up on infrared, as they take on the temperature of their environment). Having proved a robot could predate efficiently, the next step was a robot that could digest the captured food.
This is where it gets exciting. The black boxes arranged in a ring are microbial fuel cells - in essence, small stomachs that can digest organic matter and produce electricity. Arranged in series, each generates a few microwatts of power, enough to fuel a simple brain and light-seeking behaviour in EcoBot-II. The best food source for EcoBot-II turned out to be chitin - the principle protein polysaccharide found in the exoseletons of insects. In fact, a single fly in each stomach is enough to power the robot for two weeks! Unfortunately, the waste products of digestion eventually kill the essential bacteria in the fuel cells, rendering them useless.
Currently in the pipeline is EcoBot-III, which uses a trap to catch flies (much like the Pitcher plant). These are digested and the juices flow through the microbial fuel cells and drain out, keeping the levels of toxins at a tolerable level. What it will use the generated power for isn’t yet clear.
Prof Winfield imagined these robots as roaming predators, eating pest species in your garden. My question to him was: why bother when there are already far more efficient biological pest control species in use (e.g. the use of ladybirds to combat greenfly)? Wouldn’t it make more sense to design a robot that filled a gap in the ecosystem, perhaps by designing it to digest oil, plastic, or toxic or radioactive waste? His answer (if I can paraphrase correctly) was that these machines represented an industrialisation of natural processes, just as planting corn in rows improves the efficiency of farming, so too could these robots be more efficient than natural pest control measures. We didn’t have time to discuss it much further, but I really want to know the answer to this next question: if we can create robots that are autonomous and biologically embedded in the ecosystem, what are the implications of releasing these hybrids “into the wild”? The introduction of non-native species can play havok on an ecosystem - could EcoBot be the next grey squirrel or Japanese knotweed?
Further reading - you can visit Professor Winfield’s eloquent blog on all things robotic here!
Part II - digital plasters - will be uploaded soonish. Are tiny sensors that monitor healing and transmit vital stats a good thing? Or is it another step in making private information available to anyone with a scanner?
January 23rd, 2008
What does a community support officer have in common with a plastic flamingo? More than you might think.
If last year’s tragic events in Wigan have anything to tell us, it is about the danger of relying upon the illusion of safety. To refresh your memory, last year saw the wholly unnecessary death of Jordon Lyon, who drowned trying to save his sister while two community support officers stood by. They were waiting for police officers to turn up, as they were “not trained to deal with major incidents such as this”.
For non-British readers, Community Support Officers (PCSOs) are a volunteer police force, given some training, very few powers, and uniforms that closely resemble those of real police officers. Their purpose is two-fold: to make up a shortfall in the number of law enforcement needed in the UK, and to act as a visible police presence on the streets of Britain.
Although by some counts crime has been steadily falling in the UK, fear of crime continues to rise. The jittery public need reassurance that they are safe, while the police need to make best use of limited resources. While seeing police officers on the street might make us feel safer, their crime-fighting skills are much better spent working on cases.
So what does this have to do with flamingoes? These birds are social creatures, and can form flocks comprising of millions of birds. One assumes this is because, as with many social creatures, being in a large group decreases the chance that you’ll be eaten by a predator. The story goes that zookeepers have much difficulty getting these birds to breed, as in the small captive groups they feel too exposed. To get around this problem, one enterprising zookeeper painted flamingoes on the enclosure walls. It didn’t work. Undeterred, he then filled the enclosure with plastic model birds, which were similarly unsuccessful. Then, in a stroke of genius, he thought to plaster the inside of the aviary with mirrors. The mirrors reflected the mirrors which reflected them back, and reflected the flamingoes too, transforming a modest collection of birds into a teeming flock of millions. The flamingoes, fooled into security, began to breed.
Although we’d like to think of ourselves as beyond such cheap tricks, the reality is that we are not. PCSOs are simply the evolution of long-running charade. We make irrational demands of the police force, so can we really be surprised when Britain’s much-vaunted visible police presence turns out to be little more than smoke and mirrors?
January 21st, 2008
It seems homeopathy is undergoing a bit of a ‘crisis’ at the moment as NHS Primary Care Trusts move funding away from witchcraft and into evidence-based treatments. From healthcare magazine 
…this hasn’t always been the plan. I coasted through university believing that a career as the next Hunter S. Thompson was beckoning. However, it turned out that my only marked similarity with Thompson was my exceptional capacity for the consumption of narcotics. A ‘talent’ that generally hampered (and continues to hamper) my ability to write anything sensible or hold down a job that requires me to be in an office during pre-prescribed times, five days a week.
I’m struggling to figure out which is the coolest part of this story - that such a thing as a star-nosed mole exists, with its crazy nasal tentacles, that it can swim underwater, or that when it’s swimming it can sniff out tasty morsels of food. I think this makes the star-nosed mole triply-awesome. Or maybe aweome3. From 
Sorry for the downtime folks - a small error in the billing department meant that my account went into arrears and Powweb suspended the site. As much as I’d like there to be a story of some evil homeopathic cabal DMCA-ing my site, or a DDOS attack by angry alt-med fans, the truth is far less exciting. Anyway, the books are balanced now, so there’s no chance of a similar problem for at least a year. Many thanks to all of you who got in touch to find out what the problem was.
