36 Comments Add your own

• 1. Ian  |  January 14th, 2008 at 12:20 pm

  So true. But unfortunately the story is the same anywhere. Like Greggs and Sayers, as you probably remember. I did them a cartoon instruction manual, entitled ‘How to put a caramel donut in a bag’.

• 2. Frank the SciencePunk  |  January 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm

  well maybe if you redo the drawing with reference to a caramel donut’s ‘dorsal’ and ‘ventral side’, I’ll feature it!

• 3. Ian  |  January 14th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

  Ok, I’ll have to go and buy a donut first and hope (for once) that they mess it up.

• 4. Sal  |  January 14th, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  if they’re going to tessellate the cheese - they might as well cut the square cheese in half and just apply rectangles, no?

• 5. Sam  |  January 14th, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  They do that so you have to pay for the “extra cheese” which is like, $1 more. It’s a rip-off. They’re not going to stop.

• 6. Dude  |  January 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am

  Subway doesnt have a problem giving you more lettuce or more mayo but they really have a problem few extra napkins.. Whats up with that? ever noticed that?

• 7. Daily spewage from a bitt&hellip  |  January 15th, 2008 at 1:11 am

  just because it’s awesome…

  ……

• 8. clanMcGraw.com » Bl&hellip  |  January 15th, 2008 at 1:35 am

  [...] An open letter to Subway - You know… They have a point. Sandwich Artists, take notice! [...]

• 9. Joe  |  January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 am

  The drawings are good, but does he really have to use the word “Tessellate”?
  The typical worker at Subway would be like, “Ha Ha, comics!”
  and then sees that word and go “HUH?” follow by, the crumpling of that letter because he didn’t understand it.

• 10. Ian  |  January 15th, 2008 at 2:20 pm

  Damn, two visits to Subway this week, and one of my colleagues has been given tessellated cheese both times! Maybe they took note?

  (Frank - I’ll work on the illustration soon. I have one about a half-microwaved cow to do first.)

• 11. Don  |  January 15th, 2008 at 5:10 pm

  Do you reallt think they got to Tessellate before the crumple? I think we lost then at Isoscelese. By the way, where is the donut?

• 12. David  |  January 15th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

  I worked at subway last spring…whenever I made a sandwich…I just put everything on it like I was supposed to…and…I usually forgot about people who had extra cheese b/c I was usually really busy with other things. I was never “taught” how to put the cheese on the right way…I think this “open letter” could eventually turn into a “press release” and in that case…you need to do something for when they get the half circle cheese…if you put them into circles there is a lot of room that is not cheesed…or rather…there is no dairy at all…That’s just my two cents

• 13. Rievnn  |  January 15th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

  I ate at a Subway where they had to count how many olives, peppers, pickles, etc, they put on. Anything over was an extra $.50 PER vegetable. Haven’t been back since.

• 14. RM  |  January 15th, 2008 at 5:56 pm

  Dear Drewmo,
  Thanks for your suggestion. If we did that we would need to hire higher paid workers that could, ummm…. think. And that would force us to force us to raise prices or [gags on cheese corner] lower profits. Sorry. Good idea tho.
  Subway

• 15. everyone  |  January 15th, 2008 at 7:15 pm

  Last time I went to Subway was about a year ago. A lady who had a mustache and was missing a front tooth made my sandwich. Turkey, cheese, lettuce, nothing else.
  I got home to eat and noticed that an olive mysteriously made its way into my sub.

  I haven’t been back since.

• 16. BobP  |  January 15th, 2008 at 11:08 pm

  Did you get her phone number?

• 17. Frank the SciencePunk  |  January 15th, 2008 at 11:43 pm

  I declare a new meme: stories about Subway that end in “I haven’t been back since”. You know it makes sense.

• 18. Jimboooo!  |  January 16th, 2008 at 2:27 am

  I went to Subway once about a year ago.
  Ordered a footlong meme on hearty Italian with stories about Subway and cheese, but it didn’t make sense so I haven’t been back since.

• 19. Jen  |  January 16th, 2008 at 6:17 am

  I work in a development office for Subway, and (with the artist’s permission–please??) I will take this very informational and well thought out diagram to our field meeting in February. I can’t guarantee that it will get anything more than a hearty chuckle, but, hey–thanks for that!

  (Okay, so on a serious note–if you have problems like being charged for veggies, call the 800 number. All of the reps in the development office handling that region listen to your comments daily [it's part of our job], so someone should follow up. I won’t belabor you with Subway plugs, but I don’t want to see anyone not get their money’s worth!)

• 20. Andy Lewis  |  January 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am

  Subway are one of those ‘cultist’ imports hat you have to be ‘into’ to get. Ordering can be fraught if you are not ‘in the club’. Starbucks are the same. So, not a Subway anecdote: but in the same style:

  I had just finished a rather testing check in at Ryanair (another cultist organisation) and my wife wanted a cup of black tea to soothe the nerves. I went to the airport starbucks and ordered a black tea and a coffee. After being confronted by a rather sneering ‘barista’ asking me to be specific in their gobbledygook ordering methods I screamed at the top of my voice, “I don’t want to learn another fucking language just to order a fucking mug of black tea’. I think he got it. Rather jaw dropped looks from other customers in the queue were apparent though. I think they were ‘in the cult.’

  I haven’t been back since.

• 21. Ian  |  January 16th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

  It’s depressing really. Our ’sales assistants’ are merely robots. I’ve just returned from the local cake shop. Some miserable school-leaver messed up my order (I wanted the iced bun with strawberry icing, not the fruited one), and when I went to get it out the bag, it was upside down. Luckily the icing was too dry to stick.

  But it’s always the same. By three items in Tesco and the robot will ask ‘Need any help packing?’. Ultimately it seems people are being stripped of the need to think for themselves (maybe I should plug that Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip track right here), and it’s disappointing. We all suffer in the end.

• 22. Hayden S  |  January 16th, 2008 at 2:53 pm

  Getting back to subway, I used to date a “sandwich artist” (don’t even get me started on that btw, there is no way you can call the slop they throw together at subway art…) which pretty much guaranteed me awesome sandwiches (and free rolls of subway cookie dough!!!) every time I went there. Anyway, we broke up and I haven’t been back since.

• 23. Ian  |  January 16th, 2008 at 3:21 pm

  I haven’t been back to Subway since I last went either. Doesn’t prove much though. I hate the phrase ‘dating’.

• 24. Frank the SciencePunk  |  January 16th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

  I haven’t been back to Subway since I last went

  Ian, you’re a buffoon! Or a cunning wit. I can’t decide which.

• 25. jdc325  |  January 16th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

  I’m afraid I’ve never been to a Subway.
  I did go to a Starbucks inside a Waterstones once, though. I don’t like their coffee, the tea was disgusting and I haven’t been back since.

• 26. badchemist  |  January 17th, 2008 at 2:33 am

  Starbucks coffee comes in two forms, tastes of nothing or tastes of what I imagine my arse tastes of after a long day in the lab. As for Subway I’ve never had one sober and as such they’ve always been tasty. Obviously the tessellation puzzle has never come to mind at such times but I wish they’d have a simpler ordering system. Many questions after a few too many ales/lagers/spirits/whatever your preferred poison is not welcome.

• 27. feed me  |  January 17th, 2008 at 8:43 pm

  I am married to a former subway snadwich artist. I love my wife, I only like subway. I always go home to my wife, I seldom go to subway. Umm.. I was there two days ago…..

• 28. Ian  |  January 18th, 2008 at 10:50 am

  …but haven’t been back since, right?

• 29. Joseph Hewitt  |  January 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am

  I just confirmed this today- the SubWay restaurants in South Korea do tessellate the cheese. The cartoon is absolutely right; tessellated cheese does make life worth living.

• 30. reef  |  January 18th, 2008 at 3:12 pm

  In a typically middle class way of attempting to save the environment, someone in the office suggested we should recycle the obscene amount of wrapping each and every sub is sheathed in.
  I thought I’d go a step further and request a sub without layers of branded packaging, my first request was simply ignored and only after screaming ‘leave it open you muppet’ did I get the response ‘oh, I’ve already done it now’. Why are they incapable of performing such a simple request?
  Needless to say, I haven’t been back since

• 31. Ian  |  January 18th, 2008 at 4:02 pm

  Last time I went to Subway, they didn’t cut the ‘foot long’ in half properly. Hopeless. I haven’t been back since.

  On another note, a friend went there today and the girl in front of him asked for a ‘12 inch’ one, but when it was being prepared said ‘No no, I thought 12 inch was the small one!’. Which begs the question, what has her boyfriend been telling her? Clearly they don’t teach the imperial measurement system, even in history classes.

• 32. Faisal Khan’s Blog &hellip  |  January 21st, 2008 at 1:14 pm

  [...] Open Letter to Subway pingback [...]

• 33. Lee  |  February 21st, 2008 at 12:31 pm

  I went to Ostend once and ordered a bacon sandwich. I recieved a threee inch long baguette with a slice of cooked ham. This along with a thimble of coffee cost me £17. The policeman (with a large gun on his hip) at the counter next to me lessened my desire to exact brutal bread-related retribution on her ass.

  I haven’t been back since.

• 34. kat  |  February 26th, 2008 at 12:10 pm

  Ian @ 31:

  Presumably her boyfriend hasn’t been back since?

• 35. Mark  |  May 21st, 2008 at 9:17 am

  ROFL - Nice, I’m a big fan. I think they do it for aesthetic appeal. You may argue tessellated dairy wedges are more elegant (which they are), but I bet consumer psychology would show that people subconsciously think they’re getting more cheese when there’s some overlap…

• 36. me  |  June 19th, 2008 at 4:33 am

  Actually, they do it they way you wish it at my Subway. I guess my Subway is just better than yours.

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