Champneys Detox Pads - the clinical trial

February 16th, 2008

OK, so I’ve read a lot of the comments on the recent Champneys Detox Pads debunking articles, and I felt I should address them. Thanks everyone for your input, those who weren’t smart were at least funny, so it’s all entertaining.

A lot of you have mentioned that I should have used distilled water instead of tap water. That’s kind of a flawed logic, because it makes the assumption that there are toxins in tap water and these are exactly the same as the ones in you body but nevertheless, I’ll pick up a bottle of distilled water next time I’m in Tesco and do it all again, just for you.

A lot of you mentioned that these pads were being advertised heavily in the States. For all who haven’t experienced the mind-boggling bullshittery of Kinoki pads, here it is:

Someone mentioned that I should have done a chemical analysis of the used pad to see what it had absorbed. That’s not going to happen, because I don’t have a mass spectrometer. Anyway, isn’t it up to the makers of these pads to prove that they work as advertised? After all, Champneys are proud of the fact that their pads are ‘tested and approved’:

So, I guess this means that Champneys, or manufacturers Trading Angels must have some gee-whiz super-duper Scientific Studies, right? The answer is: Yes, and No. Through my fiendish network of science punks I was able to get my hands on this, the clinical so-called proof that these pads work:

This is the study undertaken by Midwest Clinical Trials to investigate what exactly is behind these pads. The first shock to you fellow sceptics - unlike many ‘trials’ for dodgy products, this doesn’t rely on self-reporting of improvements. No, this uses proper scientific measurements! Before you get too excited though, let’s look at what it is they’ll be measuring.

This test is intended to measure the absorbed moisture over a daily application period ten days in length.

But what about the toxin-sucking powers of these pads?

Chemistry of the absorbed moisture is not a part of this study

Say what? How on earth does anyone know if these pads work if no-one has actually studied their detoxification powers? Champneys have some serious explaining to do. Anyway, there was a small increase in the amount of moisture absorbed on Day 10 compared to Day 1. So rather than the pads getting cleaner over time (and therefore allegedly less full of toxins), the opposite is true! Although with a trial consisting of just 30 volunteers, it’s difficult to say whether this rise is even statistically significant.

So there you have it - clinical proof that Champneys Detox Pads definitely absorb moisture. That is all.

Entry Filed under: General

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