Winning the lottery for dummies

March 10th, 2008

‘Winning the lotto/lottery for everyday players’: This book actually exists. It’s written by ‘Professor Jones’ - that’s not a title. It’s apparently the author’s name.

Says Cracked:

This book contains enough compressed stupidity to erase all science as far back as the middle ages. The title alone proves the retardedness of everyone who’s even touched it three times over:
1) They had to write both Lotto and Lottery on the cover, for fear of missing half their target market. “Dur, this book is for lott-e-ry, dat sounds more fancier than the lotto we simple folk play ’round these parts”
2) The use of “everyday players” make you realize that the target market for this book is a group of folks who think of themselves as mere regular players, while a secret cabal of professionals keeps scooping all the jackpots. Why, if only these everyday players had access to some kind of inside knowledge!
3) Third. Goddamn. Edition. We have no idea what possible refinements to lotto-winning technology the author could be adding each time, short of scribbling “hahaha, oh God this is working–I can’t believe it’s working” all over the proof copy before sending it back to the printers. A third edition of anything hasn’t damaged our faith in humanity so much since the newspapers ran their “Princess Diana–still dead” memorials in 2000.

See the rest of Cracked’s article: “5 Books That Can Actually Make You Stupider“.

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