We’ve seen a lot of ’stupid exam answers’ in the past, but I like this one best. Click the image for the full picture.
Why do I love it so? Because even though he managed to leave snide comments for every question, he still aced the test. 100/100. Nothing says “understimulated” quite as much as this.
Via Shutterline
5 comments June 4th, 2008
The fact that the tagline is “Making the city work together” means this designer failed twice over when creating this advert.
Incidentally, I recently spotted a London South Bank University poster that was exactly the same, but didn’t manage to get a photo. Can anyone find it?
Via Crap
At least they’re not alone, though. HR Results also advertise themselves using non-function gears. And there are tiny people waiting to get ground up in those corporate cogs. Talk about bad imagery.
Finally, here’s a spectacular effort in failure from Oriel Process Management Consulting (one of those names that means nothing). You know what else does nothing? This:
The Design stage of process management puts in place the components required for a successful system. Each of the five activities within this stage works in concert, akin to a set of cogs moving in a linked, nonsequential way
Don’t think I’ll be buying any design plans from them…
3 comments June 2nd, 2008
The ideal accompaniment to a gin and tonic on these warm summer afternoons - the image of a leaf perfectly captured on a slip of ice.
Via Afhakers
2 comments May 27th, 2008
The fun fun fun blog has a wonderful gallery of vintage handcuffs. If you’re anything like me you’ll be pleased to see the loving craftmanship and elegant design that went into restraining the fellow man. Here are a few of my favourites:
Pretzel cuffs (mmm… salty justice)
Scalextric cuffs…
And these three way cuffs….err… for felons that have three arms?
See them all at fun fun fun.
2 comments May 26th, 2008
If it wasn’t bad enough that cyclones are wiping people out in Burma, and earthquakes have laid waste to China, not to mention a global food crisis in progress, the powers that be have seen fit to send a trio of unpleasant plagues to visit mankind. Here’s what you need to know about the brand new pestilences.
Chapare Virus
First reported a month ago by scientists writing in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS Pathogens, this haemorrhagic fever is named after the river close to where it was discovered. Symptoms include flu-like headache, fever and muscle pains, rapidly deteriorating into bleeding and shock, and possible death. Related viruses have a mortality rate of around 30%.
The Good News
Chapare Virus is restricted to a small area of Bolivia.
The Bad News
It’s probably carried by rodents, which are everywhere. And almost every rodent seems to have its own similar virus.
Should you be worried?
Unless you’re planning to get bitten by a rat in Bolivia in the Chapare River area, you’re probably OK. Of course, there’s also Lassa Fever, and the Junin, Machupo, Guanarito, and Sabia viruses to worry about, so you probably shouldn’t plan on get ting bitten by a rat anywhere in South America.
Monkey malaria
In April’s issue of Future Microbiology , Dr Thomas McCutchan aired his fears that monkey malaria had crossed into humans. Malaria is responsible for over 300 million infections worldwide each year, and 1-3 million deaths, all of which are down to just four different forms of the malaria parasite. Plasmodium knowlesi would bring that total up to five, and worse still, while it is morphologically very similar to one of the relatively benign forms of malaria parasite, P. knowlesi requires immediate aggressive intervention to treat infected persons.
The Good News
Monkey malaria has only been detected in Borneo.
The Bad News
The similarities with other forms of the virus parasite mean that monkey malaria is probably widely unreported. To make matters worse, doctors are unlikely to diagnose you correctly until it’s too late.
Should you be worried?
If you’re in South East Asia you should avoid monkeys. And mosquitos. And given the avian flu menace, you should probably avoid birds too. In fact, just avoid South East Asia altogether.
Hand, Foot and Mouth Virus
Reuters recently reported on the ongoing outbreak of hand, foot and mouth virus in China’s schoolchildren. The enterovirus responsible is common in China, where outbreaks occur annually. This year however, a particularly virulent strain has taken hold, leading to high fever, paralysis and viral meningitis. So far 26 childrenhave died, and a number of kindergartens have been closed to halt the spread of the virus.
The Good News
Most of the fatalities were seen in children under 5, so if you’re old enough to be reading this you’re probably safe.
The Bad News
Your kid’s aren’t. And who’s to say the next strain won’t attack adults?
Should you be worried?
Generally speaking, small children are germ factories and should be avoided at all costs. If you’ve already been living by that principle, you can award yourself 100 points for your foresight. If you can’t avoid small children, you probably have enough to worry about already.
6 comments May 25th, 2008
It’s with a heavy heart that I report the sad death of worker ant #010054, or as I called it, Mister Ant.
I’m worried now for the sake of my colony. They don’t work, they don’t eat, it’s like having a group of teenagers in my house. Specifically, the gel forms their food source, and if they’re not burrowing, they’re not eating. I decided to offer them a little sugar and water, in the hope they’d perk up. My ants are still trying to escape, but somewhat feebly - they keep falling off the walls of the formicarium. So add ennui to that list of teenager-like traits.
Perhaps previous comment authors are right, and I really do need a queen.
4 comments May 23rd, 2008
I had to look this up - but apparently Nikola Tesla really was celibate.
By Kate Beaton
Add comment May 19th, 2008
They say that human progress is undeniable - we’re alway thinking up new ways to kill one another. But the path to genocide isn’t smooth, so let’s pause to take a look at some of the weapons that didn’t make the cut in man’s endless desire to exterminate his fellow soldier.
Anti-tank dog
During the Second World War, the Russian Army came up with an ingenious defence against German tanks. Starving dogs would have bombs strapped to them, and then sent toward the enemy vehicles. The dogs had been trained to retrieve food from under Russian tanks, and the idea was that they would dash under the German tanks, seeking food, and in doing so activate a large wooden trigger on their backs. Unfortunately, having been trained using Soviet tanks, the dogs of war much preferred running under Russian tanks. Added to that, the noise of the battlefield confused and frightened them, culminating in an entire troupe of bomb-dogs running amok in a battlefield, endangering everyone and forcing the retreat of the Russian forces. Although credited with the destruction of over 300 Nazi tanks, the dogs were retired from service shortly after.
M-388 Davy Crockett
Nuclear devices already rate pretty highly on the stupidity scale, in terms of general wanton destructiveness and lasting radioactive fallout. So what better idea could there be than removing all due process behind launching such a hell-spawned weapon, and instead put that decision in the hands of a lowly infantryman? The M-388 did exactly that - it was the world’s first, and thankfully only, handheld nuclear delivery system - an atomic bazooka. With a range of less than 3km, and poor accuracy even at that stones-throw distance, the Davy Crockett’s only effectiveness was one of area-denial, instantly rendering a battlezone an inhospitable, radiation-soaked hellpit. For at least 240,000 years.
FP-45 Liberator
The Liberator was a pistol maufactured in the US during the Second World War. Made from stamped and bent sheet metal, the Liberator was designed to be produced quickly and cheaply, and dropped into occupied territory as an insurgency weapon. With an unrifled barrel, the Liberator had a maximum effective range of just 25ft. Of course, “effective” in this occasion had little meaning, seeing as the empty shell casing had to be removed with a wooden dowel before the next shot could be fired. This way, the FP-45 took longer to reload than it did to manufacture - ten seconds to seven seconds respectively. In fact, the only useful function of the Liberator was to incapacitate someone long enough to take their weapon. In other words, the US could have shipped out the lump of metal they began with, and had an equally effective weapon.
No 74 ST Grenade
During the Second World War, the British military removed much of the bureaucy surrounding weapon development, hoping to foster an increased rate of innovation. This also allowed many absurd and impractical ideas to reach the front line, including the No 74 ST Grenade, or sticky bomb. The sticky bomb was designed to act against enemy tanks, and consisted of a glass ampule of nitroglycerin attached to a plastic fuse. This was encased inside a knitted wool ’sock’ coated in sticky resin, and the whole grenade then encased inside a protective metal case. Although effective in combat, the fragile glass casing easily cracked during transport, the explosive was highly volatile, and worst of all, the sticky coating often glued an armed grenade to the thrower’s clothing, making it a very unpopular weapon.
Fusen bakudan
Japanese fusen bakudan, or balloon bombs, were used during the Second World War to strike at the US mainland. Small hydrogen balloons were fitted with anti-personnel and incendiary explosives and launched on trade winds toward the US. The idea was that the bombs would set light to forests and damage cities. In reality, of over 9,000 balloons launched by the Japanese, only 300 were sighted by Americans. Once the US forces realised what was happening, air patrols regularly shot down the balloons; in addition the campaign had begun in Autumn, when woodlands were too damp to ignite. The only casualties of the fusen bakudan were a group of Oregonian picnickers who tried to move a landed bomb. Early on, the US government imposed a media blackout on the balloon bombs, and the Japanese gave up their campaign just six months later, rightly assuming from the lack of panic that their weapon had been a failure.
57 comments May 19th, 2008
I’m not usually one to poke fun at religion unless it creeps into the science sphere, but this is too funny not to share: God-Man, omnipotent superhero. By Ruben Bolling.
Add comment May 16th, 2008
After the man with green sweat, and medical case notes on an incidence of green blood, SciencePunk is proud to continue a theme with reports of a bright green puppy born in New Orleans. First Coast News has the story:
“It’s surprising, alarming to see,” Louisiana SPCA CEO Anna Zorrilla said. “Sometimes, when a puppy is born, the amniotic fluid mixes with the placenta and dyes the coat of the puppy and it almost always happens to very light colored puppies.”
Zorrilla said the puppy will not be green forever, and will likely turn white or a light tan color in the next few weeks.
Add comment May 13th, 2008
Kudos to Chris Woebken and Skeptobot for laying the groundwork.
3 comments May 11th, 2008
Update on Project Ladybird: Having retrieved an intact chip from the body of a London Transport Oyster card, I set about repairing the damage I’d done to it. Skeptobot used a milder solution of acetone and was able to extract the chip and aerial in one piece. I’ll need to drastically modify the aerial in order for Project Ladybird to work, so I’m not too disappointed that I need to reattach it – it’ll be a good lesson.
Out I went and purchased the necessary materials – fine wire, solder, a soldering iron, plus a crocodile clip to use as a heat sink (thanks for the tip, Ian!). My soldering skills have remained untested since high school, but I was pleased with the result.
The following day, I took my Oyster hack to Piccadilly station to test it out. The result… it failed! Boo. From what I can gather, I think I’ve attached the aerial to the wrong termini on the chip. I couldn’t find any good quality images of the chip with aerial attached, so I had to guess how to attach it. But it’s equally likely that I fried the chip with the soldering iron, or the military grade acetone used.
So it’s back to the drawing board, to extract a new chip, this time with Skeptobot-endorsed nail polish remover – watch this space!
Add comment May 9th, 2008
For a long time now, unbeknownst to all but a few select friends, I have been planning a project of such pure, unfiltered awesomeness that it will surely melt your brain were you to even consider it. This is what I will hereon refer to as “Project Ladybird”. There are four stages to Project Ladybird:
My first attempt to extract the RFID chip from an Oyster card ended in failure - I sliced and diced but could not find that darn chip. My next move would be to dissolve the plastic of the oyster card with nail polish remover to reveal the chip. Somewhat serendipidously, yesterday BoingBoing featured a man called Chris Woebken who had done just that, and was now in possession of a neat-o naked, working, Oyster chip.
He used industrial-strength acetone, though, so one quick trip to the builders’ supplies in Soho and I was ready!
I left the mix for an hour or two, kind of got caught up playing Medal of Honour 4, and when I returned, the Oyster card had dissolved into a satisfyingly goopy mess. Project Ladybird was go!
In fact, the card had dissolved a little too satisfyingly, and the aerial (typically embedded in a loop around the edge of the card) was now detached. Still, I had myself a (hopefully working) chip!
On closer inspection of Chris Woebken’s video though, a circuit diagram flashes for a few seconds. I think Chris likewise found himself in possession of a helpless chip, and attached a variety of different aerials himself. I’m going to try out the raw chip tomorrow, but if it doesn’t work, I’d appreciate some tips on how best to add an aerial…
6 comments May 6th, 2008
Some readers may recall that a while ago I received a much-celebrated ant farm for my birthday. Well, now the English weather has warmed up a bit, the ground is crawling with little ants, and I decided it was time to capture some guests. Having given up on my crude jam-filled ant trap (by now, a science experiment in itself), I resorted to a jar and a stick. After a bit of poking around the dirt I had ten fine ant specimens - I mean, guests, in a jar. I put them in the fridge to make them sleepy and then shook them into my farm.
At first the ants huddled in a corner, so I assumed they were a little freaked and I put them in a dark cupboard to adjust to their new blue-gel wonderland. When I came back, four ants were crawling on the ceiling of the ant farm, and the rest - were nowhere to be seen! In less than two hours, over half my ants had squeezed through the pre-drilled air holes to freedom. Apparently, when they were huddled up, the mischevious little things were already planning a jailbreak.
So I taped up the air holes and put them back. I estimate there’s about 60 cubic centimetres of air in the farm, which should be enough to keep them going for a while.
After that I captured some more ants (from the same spot, naturally) and added them to my little insect kingdom. I didn’t bother chilling them this time, and I regretted that decision. The expression ‘herding cats’ is a misnomer, let me tell you. Once again I put my guests into storage to get settled in. When I came back, I discovered this:
My captive ants were systematically tearing away the rubber seal of the lid!! I had to admire the persistence and problem-solving abilities of the little buggers. To express this admiration, I taped up the entire lid to make sure this escape attempt was doomed. Even now, the ants have rejected my helpful starter tunnels and have made no attempt at building a hive, instead putting all their efforts into escape. I’m now keeping a close eye on my guests, and will report their future exploits.
7 comments May 6th, 2008
I was browsing idly through the lonely hearts column on my daily commute yesterday, when I stumbled across an acronym I’d never seen before: OHAC. One Hot Ass Chick? Over the Hill And Crumbling? Obama, Hillary and Colbert? Once at work, a quick Google search revealed all: Own House And Car. Damn, I thought, now that’s materialistic.
This made me think, what do women really want? When faced with writing up an order in twenty words, what do they ask for? Love? Companionship? A man with his own house and car? And similarly, do men in the classified ads really fit the stereotype of ageing divorcee looking for a trophy girlfriend to spend their money on? There’s only one way to find out - with MATHS!
For this investigation my source material was a copy of the London Paper, mostly because it’s free and gets handed to me by a nice man outside Piccadilly Tube station. I drew up a score sheet that awarded a point every time a classified ad mentioned a key word or phrase. The categories are:
So asking for a man “35-40″ will score one point. Asking for a women who is “fun-loving, charismatic and full of life” will score three points. “OHAC” scores a point for Wealth, as does asking for a “professional”. One hour of counting later, and the results are in.
I dropped religion, location and family from the final analysis because only very few people scored points in these categories. If I had a bigger sample, I might include them. There were 38 ads from women, and 32 ads from men. Overall, women were pretty verbose, scoring 126 points in total. Men tended to be more succinct, scoring only 60 points - less than half as much. Guess they’re not too fussy. Without further ado, here is the breakdown. The percentages refer to how much of the total demands an individual category constituted.
Women
Looks 15%
Age 19%
Wealth 13%
Personality 43%
Race 10%
Men
Looks 28%
Age 18%
Wealth 2%
Personality 45%
Race 7%
Great Scott! It appears that men have trumped women in seeking a partner with a personality (well, OK, the margin is probably insignificant). Men have also been more concerned with looks than the women - even when you group ‘race’ and ‘looks’ (which I felt maybe I should have done), men asked for it 35% of the time where as women only 25%. The biggest discrepancy between the two? Women said they wanted someone wealthy 13% of the time - while only one man in the 32 sampled thought it important enough to mention. Concrete, indisputable evidence that all women are gold-digging hootchies! Seriously though - this would be a fun project to apply in different countries, just to see if there were any differences. I’m sure some clever reader out there could rig together a piece of code that would do it automatically.
My next piece of classified ads stats? I’m going to look at how people describe themselves, and see if the sexes have really cottoned on to what eachother want.
4 comments May 6th, 2008
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